I'm not her

I hadn't realized what kind of mother and wife I was until now. No, that's not right. I always knew what kind of mom and wife I am. I'm a hard worker with a job outside of the home. I am a mother of two, almost three, children that are respectful, loving, and just good. I am the wife of a hard working man who I've known since I was 14. I am married to a man who knows me...all of me...that I'm not a cleaner or a cook or anything like that. He knows we do all things together. All things.

Together. We're good. I'm good.

Until I see her. Her. You know who I'm talking about right? Her. HER!

We're all great friends with her. She shows up with her Pinterest-worthy meals and DIY projects. She meal preps. Her home is impeccable.  She eats awesome food at the newest "it" places.  She has time for everything.  She looks flawless. All. The. Time. Her husband smiles and waves when instructed. Her children bounce beautifully on beds. No tantrums. No talking back. Just perfection. She has her shit together. She's either a SAHM or, like me, works out of the home, but she's always on. ON.

Well that's what's shown anyway. To us. The normal ones that don't always have their shit together. The ones that can't even 80% of the time. We drown ourselves in caffeine and go, go, go. Trying our hardest to get it together and show the world we can. Just like her. But we fall short because there is no way we can be her.

She's not real. We are. I am.

Okay, she's real. There's photos to prove it. She probably does have everything where it's supposed to be. And that's all good. Really, I'm good with her. Let her have it all or the notion of it all.

I'm good.

I'm okay with being on maternity leave right now, eating through a bag of Doritos, watching Scandal episodes back to back on Netflix. I'm perfectly okay with how very imperfect I am. I'm on a break right now. I've been given four weeks before Annika gets here to rest...and I'm taking full advantage of it. I get that guilty feeling every so often when I see her. But, then it passes because who cares what she's doing. Who cares?! She's doing her and I'm definitely happily doing me.

Soon, I'll have an itty bitty baby girl to take care of, to share with my beautiful older children, and with my loving and loyal husband. Later, I'll have to go back to work and leave this "break" behind. I'll see her around social media doing her thing....and I'll smile.

I'm not her. Not by a long shot....and I am so good with that.  Until I'm not.  You know what I'll do when I don't feel enough, though?  I'll look at myself, straight to my core, in that dirty mirror, and tell myself:

Hey you!  You're not her.  You never have been or will be.  He doesn't care.  He loves you.  You are doing you and you do it well.  Keep it going. Don't stop.

You are YOU.
And that's just fricken awesome.

Cover Me Ponchos - Pregnancy Style

Do you remember this post?  The post where I wished and hoped for some sweet and wonderful gifts for this pregnancy?  Well, that sweet Baby Registry Fairy came through!!

A few months ago, Cover Me Ponchos put out a call on Instagram for bloggers.  In exchange for an honest review, CMP would send me a poncho of my choice.  I emailed them so fast your head would spin.  I picked a beautifully hued blue poncho.  A little gift for me for now and then such a help once Annika is here.

So, I should probably explain something.  I had such a hard time breastfeeding with Miah and Lucas.  I never knew that it would be so hard to cover up, let alone breastfeed in public.  Think layered receiving blankets when I was out and about and having to breastfeed in public.  Ten years ago it wasn't as acceptable as it is now.  Ten years ago, I became defeated and stopped breastfeeding altogether after a short six weeks.  Not my finest moment.  Not at all...

But last May, during Elevate, I spent time with Kristine and Ernie Zeno.  She was exclusively breastfeeding (and still is - you go girl!) and made it look so easy.  She wore a Cover Me Poncho and I asked her if it was worth investing in one.  She, hands down, said I had to get one.  It would make my life so much easier.  My CMP is getting me excited to breastfeed.  I really want to do it this time...make a real effort.

What I love about this poncho is not only that I can use it for breastfeeding, but I'll be able to use it for so many other things.  I can use it as a really cute poncho, as you can see with these pics, and I could use it as an infinity scarf.  I've used it as a bathing suit cover up already, as well.  Trust me, no one needs to see those pics, lol.  

Once Miss Annika is here, I'll of course use it as a cover-up during breastfeeding times, but I can also use it as a baby carrier cover.  So versatile...I wish they had stuff like this when Miah and Lucas were babies.

Well, now I get to experience pregnancy and my newest baby in a whole new way.  I can't wait to show you more once she is here!

Here's some more info on Cover Me Ponchos, too.  Expecting?  Check them out.  Not expecting?  I'd still get one - cutest accessory to any outfit!

Functionality style easy to use

We Cover Everything.

Our nursing ponchos are made with light weight, breathable, jersey knit fabric that cover the front, sides, and back of you. No nursing clothing needed.

Car Seat Cover, Maternity Top, Scarf, and More.