Friday, August 29, 2014

TIGF -> Nay is Back!

Hi loveys!
I'm back - didn't think I'd be gone this long, but whoa!  It has been a whirlwind of interesting stuff these last two weeks!
Let's get back you up to speed, shall we?  Today is TIGF: Things I'm Grateful For, too!

Vacation.  All of last week, the four of us enjoyed a nice break from life before school started.  We went to Palm Springs for two days where the temperatures hit 111 degrees on all of the days, but the pool was very refreshing.  The next two days were spent at the happiest place(s) on earth, Disneyland and California Adventure.  We were there from the moment the parks opened until well into the night.  Friday, was rest day and Saturday, was filled with watching TMNT and my godson's 3rd birthday.  So grateful for the time off and being able to take in all the love that these three give me.

Back to School.  Just had to show you the cutest 5th grader and 3rd grader.  They've had such a great first week!

The Sickies.  This is the after picture of how I was this week.  I got my monthly visit on Sunday night and the following day started to feel like I had really bad allergies.  Unfortunately, the allergies turned into a full on head cold.  Think:  Nay in bed for two straight days, sniffling, coughing, and crying.  I am the worst sick person on the planet.  How is this something I'm grateful for? Well, it didn't last forever.  I got to rest this weary body and catch up on Orange is the New Black.  I feel like myself again.

College Mama.  It has started again.  Thankfully this semester is going to be awesome.  I put myself into that mindset as soon as I walked into my Economics class this Wednesday.  I also said a silent prayer as I sat at my desk, and boy did it work.  I have a great professor who actually teaches instead of just standing at a podium reading notes to the students! Big points there.  Yes, there is a lot of reading and homework with a quiz every week, but it will be my only class this semester.  So I'm ready.  I've already finished the two chapters I had to read yesterday with the Hubby explaining things I was totally confused about.  I'm going to put my best foot forward and do this thing!

PSL. What's better than just a regular Friday?  A regular Friday that turns into a PSL Friday before a three-day weekend!  Oh that first sip was amazing, lovey!  Today is going to be busy since I've been out pretty much all week, but my PSL and slice of lemon loaf cake is going to make it fricken awesome!!  Hopefully, we'll get out early today at work so I can start enjoying my Labor Day weekend.  We're going camping!  I am def not a camping person, but hey you gotta try, right? LOL  Wish me luck that I don't get eaten by a bear!

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Friday, August 15, 2014

Let's Be Grateful Together {TIGF Link Up}

Image from Manifest Yourself

Gratefulness. Such a splendid thing. Each week, Ashley, Laura & I team up to show our gratefulness for the week.  Every Friday, we put our TIGF: Things I'm Grateful For link up on our blogs and it's our wish for you, our readers, to own your gratefulness.  Join us!  We're thrilled to have you!


Sara Bareilles.  I spent the night with Sara B. on Tuesday and it was just...just wonderful.  Yet again, I found myself listening to her CD on my drive home last night.  Yet again, her lyrics filled my heart with the exact words I needed to hear.  I am so grateful to Megan for introducing Brave to me.  I'm grateful to my friend, Brenda, for incorporating her love of Sara into my life.  Definitely, the highlight of my week.

Blogging.  You know how much I love the connections I've made through blogging.  I've said it enough around here that you know how much I cherish and love each and every one of you.  You are my friends.  I am grateful for you.  I love the conversations we have off-line, on Instagram, by email, through your supportive tweets...and I love meeting all of the new loveys that come across this place.  I've recently become a member (and Admin!) to a new FB group, Let Your Blog Shine.  Ashley started it on August 1st and I am loving the community of it.  I am grateful for these new connections.  Wanna join?  We'd love to have you!

Vacation.  Not only is it Friday today, but it's the best kind of Friday!  It's the Friday before vacation!!! We'll be going to Palm Springs for a couple of days and then hitting Disneyland up, now that our annual passes are no longer blacked out, and just stay-cationing the rest of the time.  My plan is to take my daughter on a one-on-one date and just spend a whole day with her.  I will be off the blog next week, but will definitely be back on Monday, 08/25.  Just a week...but a week of no work, no summer camp, not many responsibilities...a week to chill.  I'll definitely be showing our week to you on Instagram.  So it's not like I'm really away, right? :)

Writing.  I've actually for reals been writing!  I shared some scenes from a short story yesterday - what did you think? I've been jotting down ideas for The Penelope Chronicles and plan on taking a moment each day to write a little.  I may not become a renowned author of the great American novel, but writing my little stories down is pretty fantastic.  I hope to have some more material for you to read when I get back.  Will you cross your fingers for me and say a little prayer that I really get down to business and write?  I really want to do this and your encouragement always helps.

Have a most wonderful Friday - and weekend - and week!  You know I'll be thinking of you all and getting all kinds of good inspiration during my week off.  Be excited:)

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Thursday, August 14, 2014

Scenes from a Short Story

Hi loveys,
I wanted to share some of my writing with you.  When I blogged at Cover 2 Cover, in the beginning, I used to join a writing prompt link-up.  Every week the link-up host would give you a word and then you could write a mini-clip, poetry, short story - anything you wanted.
For three consecutive weeks, I wrote.  It was great.  Here are the three scenes I wrote.
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Scene 1 - Sense
She ran her fingers around her round stomach.  In less than three weeks, there would be a new person in her world.  She could feel as this new being bumped around her rib cage, shaping itself inside of her. 

Usually right before lunchtime, the baby would get all riled up.  The cravings for her usual, tuna on rye, would creep up on her and she would have a sense of emergency to go to her favorite deli right around the corner from her loft.

She could have asked for someone to go get a sandwich for her so she wouldn't have to waddle the half-block there, but there was never anyone to ask.  The "father" of this baby was long gone.  The day she told her boyfriend she was pregnant, his look dropped to the floor.  She knew right at that moment the result of what her life would be like from that moment on.  She made the decision at that exact moment to have this child on her own.

Her mother had done it, so there was no reason she couldn't do it herself.  The last eight months had been filled with elation from the first moment she felt the first movements of the baby.  There were times that she had a sense of dread that she would be doing this alone and without anyone's help, but then the baby would tumble around inside of her as if letting her know that everything would turn out fine.

She grabbed the arms of the chair she sat on and with one big breath stood upright.  Getting her keys and a few dollars for the sandwich, she walked out the door to start the short trek to the deli.

It was a sunny and breezy day in January.  The air smelled sweet and fresh, her favorite time of the year.  She was happy that the baby would be born during her favorite season.  Birthdays would be celebrated in little parks in the area.  Her child's hair would blow in the wind as he or she (she wanted this to be a surprise) blew the candles.  She could already hear her little one's giggles as she would cut the cake.  She was ecstatic for those days to come.

Walking towards the deli, she felt as though the baby was having a tantrum.  It was as though the baby were hurrying her to be fed.  Then she felt something she could never have imagined.  Peace filled her and she felt a sort of white cloud surround her.

She stumbled on a crack on the sidewalk and fell on her stomach.  She looked down and saw a puddle of blood and water around her.  And something else, as well...


©Renée T. Soriano, all rights reserved.
Scene 2 - Water

“Call me…please”
“Give me a chance to explain.”
“Why are you doing this to us? Please call…”
“I can’t understand why you are acting like this. Are you going through with it? I need to know!”
“I can’t believe you! I need to know what’s happening!”
“Where are you? You moved?! You just leave like a selfish piece of…”

As he stood in the shower, water trickling down his back, he thought of all those text messages and unanswered voice mails he left her. She didn’t give him a chance to answer, ever.

“I’m pregnant,” she said. He could only look down, shock going through his head. When he looked up, she was walking out the door. He ran after her. How could he not? He hadn’t responded fast enough and now he saw her walking away, furious. He knew that she was this way, too fast to react to anything he ever said or if his body language betrayed him.

Months went by with him trying to get in touch with her. He went to her mother’s house, but all that wretched, self-serving matriarch could say was, “She’s not her no more and she don’t want nothin’ to do with you. You done her wrong just like her Daddy!”

That woman! “I raised her all by myself. Never needed no man to get in the way of me and my baby.” She brainwashed her daughter to think all men leave. But they were only seventeen! What was he supposed to say to, “I’m pregnant”? Jump up in the air for joy?

For weeks all he could think of was her. Her smile, her long curly hair wrapped around his finger when they made love, the way she would tease him, the way she could light up his world when she looked at him across the school halls. They met by chance. They were from different circles in school. They weren’t supposed to be “together”. That’s what all his friends would tell him.

“She’s nothing but trouble.”
“Why do you wanna mess with white trash like that?”
“You could have anyone here and you want her?"

Yes, he wanted her and he got her. It wasn’t easy. She was tough to get to know or even try to talk to. But, he did it and he couldn’t remember how. All he knew was that she was gone now. She couldn’t be found. It was as though she was water going down the drain of that shower. Lost…

But he wasn’t going to lose. That wasn’t his style. He may not be ready to be a father, but he wasn’t going to lose this fight. She wanted to be found. She always wanted to be found.  And he was the one who would make sure that water wouldn’t go down that drain to nowhere.

He would find a way to get every single drop in a bottle where he could keep her close to him forever.

With or without that baby…

©Renée T. Soriano, all rights reserved.
Scene 3 - Survival

"I'm a Survivor" is blaring off the stereo and bouncing off the walls.  I am free!  I survived!  I don't have a care in the world!

After I told him about the baby, and his reaction, I just walked out.  Walked out on him without a care in the world.  I didn't feel alone any longer.  For the next nine months, I'm not by myself.  I have this baby inside of me.

He's texted me, left countless pleading voice mails, and all I wanted to do is run!  Run as far as the wind will take me, far enough away from him, my mother, everyone.  My mother...

Her reaction, I think, hurt me more than his ever did, anyway.  Literally, it hurt more.  This time she only focused on my legs and stomach, until I was so afraid that I threw her against the wall.  I ran towards my tiny room, took out my hidden "survival" money jar, and ran out of that hell hole...forever.

I never looked back.  This baby has been everything I needed.  He or she has saved me from her, from Daddy, from all those rotten kids at school...and thank goodness, I'm eighteen!  No one can tell me what to do anymore.  I knew saving, not spending a dime on anything, saving every nickel of my allowance, would help me one day.  My "survival" money...and I am definitely, maybe barely, surviving on it.

But, for some reason, and I don't know how or why, I am making it.  No one would ever know that I've been planning this all along.  Although my plan had the father of this baby in place, it's no matter.  That little dip in the road can be patched up easily.

I'm not showing yet, so I'll find someone.  Tell him it's his baby...yeah, that's it!  I fooled the first one, I can deceive another.  My mother didn't raise a fool, that's for sure.  She did it to my "Daddy," I can do it as well.  If it's one thing, she taught me is that everyday a sucker is born.

I do feel a little tiny bit guilty, not that much, but a little.  He thought it was his baby!  His!  I do feel sorry for him, though.  He must be downright depressed right now thinking he's lost me, his "little lost cause".  Oh, how he thought he had saved me by having me be his girl.  But it was all part of my plan and it worked just as I thought it would.

Poor him.  Poor, poor him.  Well, now he knows what every ounce of my body felt living this life God gave me.  Every single day, I've been beaten.  He knew it and he never did anything to help me.  But, I got back at him, didn't I?  It wasn't hard to find someone to knock me up.  It was a bit difficult, I must admit, lying to him. 

I have to stop thinking about him.  He isn't important.  What's important is that I got out of there and I'm starting the life I was supposed to have.  My real life with my baby making everything just the way it's supposed to be...real.

Survival is the key.  Surviving with this baby and making sure I give it the life I always wanted.

©Renée T. Soriano, all rights reserved.  

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