On my mind lately - this might suck

Lately, I have been just living my life day by day.  I'm not thinking about the future - maybe the weekend ahead pretty much - and it feels pretty good.  I've noticed that if I live in the moment, I notice things.  I also don't get as stressed when I'm being as present as possible.  I'm not perfect.  I have my moments of weakness.  I start worrying about the next day and what it will bring, I can feel my inner frustration start to boil.

That's when I have to stop.

I'm the type of person that always has to worry about something.  I'm the woman that has no patience a lot of the time.  I get frustrated with people - not people I know, mind you.  I get frustrated with people that I don't know.

Like the woman I was driving behind yesterday.  The one that at every stoplight would brake like everyone else, but as soon as the light turned green wouldn't move.  The one that had her head down so I knew she was on her phone.  That's the kind of stuff that bugs.

Or how about having a doctor appointment at 9am, but the doc doesn't stroll in until 9:15am.  Then you are asked to go in the room to see the doctor, but then you wait another 15 minutes for her to actually show up.  When she finally does, she pokes and questions for a bit and not even 10 minutes later, the doc is done.  Wouldn't it be nice if people actually were on time for their patients?

It's stuff like that which bothers me and makes it really hard to be in the moment.  If you stay in that moment much longer, you may honk for the whole city to hear...or give the doc a piece of your mind.  But, I don't.  I'm nice.  Most of the time...

It's when you are at your breaking point and you've had one of those days and the driver in front of you is just the last straw.  I beeped at her after the fourth light, not a long beep - a short friendly one - and what happens?

I get flipped off.  

She's lucky I wasn't trying to be in the moment right then and there. 

But it happens.  I live day by day, trying to think of the here and now, and just be happy.

Happy that I had a good doctor's appointment with no surprises.  Happy I didn't whoop that woman's butt.  :]

taking a drive so we can talk it out

Hey lovey...

Let's get in this car and just drive.  

Do you mind driving?  That way I can hold the coffees we buy on the way out of town since this old(er) car doesn't seem to have cup holders.  "Where are we driving to?"- you ask.  Just pick a direction and go.  We're pretending after all, so we have no cares in the world - just this car, the open road, and two friends talking the day away.

Since we're at it, you know pretending and all - it's not too hot and not a blizzard outside, so we can roll down the windows and just breathe in the non-smog-like air.  It's pretty much heaven.  I love that we're just driving, see the storefronts turn into open road, and then just fields and fields of grass and nature at our sides.

Oh, I brought a blanket and a little picnic lunch.  It's in the trunk.  Yeah, pull over.  That's your favorite sandwich and drink....I know:)  So, let's talk.   How are you?  How are things?  Are you happy?  What would make this day even better?

You know, I know some days can be really tough.  I know some days you want to get under the covers and not come out for days.  I get it.  I get like that sometimes, too.  I used to get like that a lot, actually.  But for some reason, there was a switch in my feelings.  I stopped wanting to make everything perfect and just let it be.  I just started breathing.  No, not everything is how I would want it.  Not everything is picture perfect - but it's my kind of perfect.

I really want that for you.  Maybe you already have that.  That is so awesome!  But maybe it's not.  That's why I wanted to take this little pretend drive with you.  I wanted to take some time and see how you are.  How you really are, not how you want others to think you are.  Do you get what I'm saying? 

I'm here to talk.  I'm here to take a ride with you and see where this journey takes us.  We're in this together, you know.