Maybe today...

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I don't have anything to say, but I miss this place.
I was going to write about my morning routine and how some days are harder than others to wake up to.
I was going to tell you that I am trying very hard to start each day with as much positivity as I can muster.
I wanted to tell you something that would inspire you to live a fully blissful day.
I wanted to say a lot of things.
But I don't have much to say.
I have my coffee.
I'm freshly showered and dressed and ready for another work day.
I have a full load of a day with little time to write or think.
But something is missing in that time that I don't have.
I don't give time to my craft anymore.
I don't give myself time to stop and reflect and sit and be here.
I miss this...and I miss me.
I tried meditating last week.  It went well.  I cried. I released the yuckiness and tried very hard to let grace in.
It's a hard road to walk through - the road out of sadness.
Every single day I can backslide and all the positivity I'm trying to hold in can go away.
It takes everything in me not to let it go.
But I hold the positivity and grace tightly in my hands, careful not to let it spill out from my fingers.
I didn't have anything to say today, but I did have a lot of feelings to let out.
I miss this place.
I miss whoever it is that I am.
I've lost her and I want her back so very badly.
I need to hold onto whatever is left of her and build myself up again.
Maybe instead of holding the positivity in my hands, I should hold it in my heart.
Maybe I should absorb it and let the positivity, grace, and peace consume me.
Maybe I do have a lot to say...
and maybe that time to say it is today.
Stay positive.

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1 comment:

  1. So... you read my mind. I should just copy this post and place it on my blogger-less blog. I miss you so terribly it's not even funny. I know you are there and that translates to you being here as well. I'm positive... I'm lonely for me as well. I'm glad I have you.

    ReplyDelete

Hey Lovey! You're commenting! You just made me happier than...well, me with a Chestnut Praline Latte. (Yes, now you know what to order for me if we ever go to Starbucks - lol)