I don't have a BFF

Good Morning Sweet Lovey,
Happy St. Patrick's Day.  
I'm wearing my green spring dress to show off my 1/4 Irish blood in me.  A fourth definitely counts, right?  

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I've been thinking a lot about relationships between women - friendships that are supposed to be resilient and true.  
A real, true, and beautiful friendship between two women can be so wonderful.  It can give you strength, bring you laughter, cause you tears, show you support, remind you that you aren't alone in this big fat world.  It doesn't take much to make that friendship work either.  There is a give and take to all friendships and the bond between women is one of the strongest.

It takes two people to make it a relationship.
It takes two people to listen.
It takes to make that thing go right.

Each person should understand the stresses of everyday life.  They both need to understand that life is busy - whether you are single or not - and that it can be so wonderful if each woman can just understand that.
I have had many friendships in my life - and most of them have ended.  The ones that stayed strong, no matter the time spent apart or together, have been the ones I cherish most.

I don't see friends a lot.  I have a busy life - kids, hubby, work, school, homework, exams, life's little problems, getting that sip of coffee in...The thing is that we all have that busy life.  But time and time again I hear women I know say, 
"She never gives me the time.  She expects me to stop everything for her, but she doesn't do it for me.  I've tried to show her what I mean by doing what she does to me so that she'll understand."
That's the problem right there.

Don't you see?
We can't play games.
We just need to talk it out.  If you don't want to do that, it's okay.  Maybe it's time to move on.

Every friendship has its season, I think.  We meet people in our lives that will give something to it.  Sometimes those people are there for just that.
Others persevere and stay on for the long run.

You have your outs at times, but it doesn't matter.
You have problems occur in your separate lives, but you don't compete about whose drama is more important at that moment.
You get a text message from her and you want to respond.
That phone call that you couldn't get to at that exact moment?  You'll call a little later and it's okay.

I have been guilty of giving giving giving and being so upset that I don't get it in return.
I have learned the hard way - losing people I thought would be there forever - that we are all built differently.
I'm the type of person that wants to give.  I want you to know that you are beautiful, that you are doing great, that you are awesomely made.  I want that in return, of course, but I also need to understand that not everyone shows their love like I do.

And that has to be okay.  If it's not then that person may not be what's best for me.
I want a friendship where I can be myself - but I also want a friendship where I can accept how that woman is.
I have found that.  Just not in one person.  
I've learned that the BFF you hope for can live in so many different and special people in your life.

That has been my life lesson.
Almost 40 years into living this life and I have learned that one important lesson.

I can be a lot to one person...
and so much more if given the chance.
But at the same time, I can be that special person in a lot of different lives...to a lot of the different women who honor me with their friendship.

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To my girls, you know who you are, and you my lovey...
Thank you.
For your friendship.
For your love.
For your support.
For the laughter.

But more importantly,
for what you are to me and who you help me become.
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3 comments:

  1. Beautifully said! You are so right, I have some of those friends that they need me a little more and it feels good to be needed and helpful, but sometimes it just gets too much so then I can turn to those friends who give back to me more and there are those few gems where it is just the perfect balance.

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  2. There is so much truth in this. I love the way your words flow and always speak to my heart. I can totally relate to this. I definitely have friends where I know it should be a two way street but I feel like I do all the giving because that is my nature as well. It seems a little lopsided probably because it is even though it shouldn't be.

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  3. I have been thinking about this lately too... and I don't think I could have put it any better.

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Hey Lovey! You're commenting! You just made me happier than...well, me with a Chestnut Praline Latte. (Yes, now you know what to order for me if we ever go to Starbucks - lol)