Today I'm stopping and kicking up my heels.
Today I'm believing in the moment where everything will settle into place.
Today I will imagine laying in that hammock, listening to the waves of bitterness wash away.
Today I won't care about what I grew up with or why.
Today I will just be.
I'll be brave enough to say to myself that I am okay.
That I am not damaged.
That I am a healthy-minded individual with so much going for her.
That I am smart enough.
That it doesn't matter what people did to me or how they made me feel.
Or that they lied to me or betrayed me.
All that matters is the NOW.
All that matters is that I know that I am worthy of so much more than I let myself believe.
I will be good to myself for once.
I will love myself in the same way I cherish my loved ones.
I will look at myself the way my husband and children look at me.
I will love myself.
I will lay in that hammock and soak in the sunshine of my life.
I will know that all things happened for a reason.
That this newness will come soon enough and I don't need to rush it.
I will put myself in a good place.
I will tell those voices in my head that I don't have time for their negativity.
I will know that I am strong enough to say what is enough.
Enough with the negativity I keep throwing at myself.
Enough with the self-doubt.
I am fierce.
I am good.
I am worthy.
I am so worthy of giving myself what I deserve.
I need to remember that.
I need to remember that I have to love myself.
Every curve on my body...every good thought that I shouldn't shoot down...every single damn thing.
I am awesome.
I am here for a reason.
I am not a mistake.
I sway in this hammock. Happy. Knowing that this is the first step to knowing my true self.
I am ready.