I'm craving some peace from what only a crisp Autumn morning can give. I want to sit on the porch of an old Southern plantation home and wrap myself up in a blanket. I want to look out onto the land and feel the Fall breeze fly through my hair. I want to be there when the sun rises and give thanks for my life.
I crave some one-ness with myself and my Higher Power. A moment to sit and read His Word - flip through His Book and land on the verses that need to be read. I want to feel the peace and love that only He can give me. The love of the One who created me and gave me life for just a tiny moment. I want to imagine that one day I will have the chance to have that one moment. That moment should be now.
I may not have the chance to spend an Autumn morning on a Southern plantation like I always have wanted. I may never walk the streets of Venice and explore what my writing craves. I may never sit on a balcony over a Spanish plaza scribbling down every thought my soul can imagine. I may never visit these places of my dreams. But I am able to dream them. I am able to transport myself to these places because He gave me the imagination to do so.
He created in me a person with so many thoughts, so many words to let out. He gave me a voice through my words where I can explore the places in my mind and visit these places I have never been. He made me.
That just puts me in awe.
He felt the need to create me because He knew my life meant something. He knew that I would add to this world. Just knowing that, knowing that I am enough in His eyes, is enough. I'm enough because He says I am.
I crave some time to be alone with just Him. A moment to talk with Him about everything: about the life I had growing up, the adventure of this life He has given me, and to reflect on the decisions - the twists and turns - I have made with this life. I would ask Him what He wants me to do next. I would tell Him that I want to be the best person I can be, the person He created me to be.
I found out this weekend that I need to begin my relationship, heart and soul, with Him. He has waited long enough for me to write these words. He has waited long enough for the prayers I sent to him last night. I didn't ask for anything last night. I told him things. I rested in Him knowing that I am enough. He made me just the way He wanted. He makes no mistakes.
I'm ready. Ready, willing, and finally able to put my heart in His hands. I put my life in Your Hands, Father. Do with it as You will.