In Two Days

"I write to give myself strength.  I write to be the characters that I am not.  
I write to explore all the things I'm afraid of." - Joss Whedon

In two days or so, I'll be free.  I will only have my regular responsibilities to take care of.  I'll take my Economics final on Wednesday night and all will be done in that part of my world.  I am craving that time of less stress from that class and just doing my regular stuff. 

I look forward to all the time I'll have to spend with my favorite three people.  I'll be able to read what I want, when I want.  There won't be any homework to do or textbook reading....there will only be what I'm happy to do.

This semester was rough on me.  It rocked me emotionally.  I would sit in my car before class trying to calm down and not have an anxiety attack.  It was a dark semester.  I did nothing to comfort myself.  I worked my hardest, but my hardest wasn't good enough.

So this weekend, as soon as Friday night hit, I gave myself some time off.  I put my phone down for the weekend - only glanced at Instagram when I wasn't surrounded by my family, and soaked in relaxation.  My little family and I hit the road to Palm Springs and did nothing.  We ate, we watched movies together, played by the pool, and were together.  Just the four of us without any responsibilities looming over us.  We pretended that the weekend would last forever and it was bliss.

I set aside my Economics book and notes for a couple of days and read novels.  I brought my journal and just enjoyed free-writing.  I sat at the hotel cafe by myself for an hour and sipped on a cappuccino while I people-watched.  I didn't once look at my phone and just enjoyed my own company.  It was good for me.

It was good for my little family.  I was relaxed and happy - not burnt out and stressed as I have been for the last couple of months.  It was just what we needed.  It was just what I needed.

This weekend was set aside with no plans.  It was a weekend where I let myself out of my tightly-bound shell.  It was the weekend where I wrote and wrote and wrote.  I explored what was in my mind and let it all out onto pages and pages.  I let my characters speak to me.  It was the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

In two days, I will leave my Economics class at 8pm - the moment I'm released from my final - and I'll probably let out the longest breath within me.  It will feel good.  It will feel like I finally can live a little.

In two days, I'll be back to my old self.  I can't wait.