// b e f o r e //

This is a hard post to write. You need to know that. I'm putting it out there and I'm not looking back.  I figure if I don't write this post, nothing is going to change.

02/16/2016

I just weighed myself.  Before you say, "But you just had a baby, Nay.  Give yourself a break."  Yes, I understand that.  But, and this is a big BUT, I lost all the baby weight the week after Annika was born.  This is my pre-baby weight.  Yeah.  How you like them apples?

How did I get here?  Well, I eat.  I eat what I want, when I want.  I had it in my head that I needed to enjoy life.  Why would I deprive myself of eating when that made me happy?  It's not making me happy anymore.  It's kinda making me sad, actually.

Do you know how hard it is to find something to wear to hide every single roll I have?  Do you know what it's like to be so frustrated every morning trying to look presentable for work when you have all this weight on you?  And it's not even my appearance that bothers me as much.  Well, it does, but now I can feel the weight.  Going up stairs winds me.  My knees hurt going down stairs.  I can't walk very long distances because my feet start to ache.  I can't carry this weight much longer.  It's hurting me, physically and emotionally.

God bless my hubby's heart - he doesn't say a thing to me.  He loves me unconditionally.  He's seen me small, medium, large, and now XXL.  He doesn't mind, but just wants me happy.  He supports me either way.  That's love right there, friends.

This weekend, I was scrolling through @glitterglosshg's Instagram feed and she inspired me.  Girlfriend looks amazing!  Heather decided one day that she wanted to lose weight and she did it.  She didn't look back.  She became an "after".  She's totally inspiring.  She was the first one to make me stop and look at myself.  She has no idea that she did.  I don't know her.  She definitely doesn't know me, but she's inspired me to get here.  I'm a "before" and I really want to be an "after" too.

I know it's going to be hard work.  I know I'm going to hate life as I start this journey.  I'd rather hate it right now than look back and regret never taking the steps to a healthier me.  I need to be around for my kids.  I want to be around for my retirement.  I don't want to get sick from being overweight.  I don't want to die.

Something has to change.  That something is me.  Today I write this post to show that I am going to make a change in my lifestyle.  Today is the first step to my "after".

2 comments:

  1. Love you cuz. I'll start my own journey to my 'after' xx You're not alone in the process xx

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm currently on the same journey. Just said a prayer for you. I appreciate you and enjoy reading your posts. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete

Hey Lovey! You're commenting! You just made me happier than...well, me with a Chestnut Praline Latte. (Yes, now you know what to order for me if we ever go to Starbucks - lol)